Recently I turned 30 and started buying the big sizes of body wash, shampoo, and conditioner- all of this to say that I’m maturing at the rate of McDonald’s Hamburger forgotten under a car seat. Instead of doing literally anything productive with my time I’ve spent a fair amount of it watching television and boy do I have some thoughts. Warning, there is a lot of reviewing ahead.
Amazon
Jack Ryan S3 (C+) The first two seasons of Jack Ryan were pretty good, unfortunately the third season picks up where the second left off. Turning Ryan into a globetrotting super spy, instead of a human. The direction they’ve taken isn’t quiet the worst part of this season, there are frankly a couple of parts that just don’t make any fucking sense. It’s still worth a watch if you’ve seen the first couple of season and isn’t something I won’t watch the next season of, just generally didn’t like this season all that much.
The Consultant (F) This show is billed as a dark comedy and the trailer would lead you to believe that it’s some kind of horror show that is occasionally funny. Sadly, for the poor fucks that made this program- and anyone unfortunate to stumble upon it, it’s a whole different kind of horror show. It is neither funny nor scary, although it tries to be both pretty much all the time. It’s mostly just bad, the twist at the end is something that I guess you would come up with if you were on acid or something, no idea. Just dumb and stupid and bad.
The Rig (C) The first few episodes are quiet good, which sucks because they are good enough to make you watch the whole show which takes a pretty big turn. It’s worth watching I think, but probably isn’t something I’d rewatch, and I’ll probably watching at least the first episode of the second season.
Daisy Jones and The Six (C)
I didn’t really know what to expect out of this, Amazon can occasionally pull of some really good stuff and this sort of had the hallmarks of a show that could be one of the good ones. It really just isn’t. There are two central problems with the show, the music isn’t all that good and they made the two main characters pretty remarkably unlikable. There just never is quite enough edge to the show, nothing all that wild but also very few moments that feel all that real. Unlike the titular band the show doesn’t even manage to be a flash in the pan.
HBO
The Last of Us (A) Very good, obviously. Everyone with a pulse is watching this show no need for much more detail.
Paramount+ (w/Showtime) that’s right, I’m rich I can afford Showtime.
1923 (C--) For the expansive yet grounded drama produced in 1883, this spinoff of a prequel has really managed to produce none of that. The only reason this isn’t an F is that one of the storylines in the show is a top tier Sheridan character. Spencer, the oldest son of Tim McGraw’s 1883 character (or something, honestly IDK it’s VERY hard to follow), has PTSD or something- can’t live with the action- so he just hunts manhunting lions and wild dogs and such in the fucking African grasslands and I can’t really understate how fucking awesome that one part of the show is. The rest of it sucks, lots of lame plot points it’s hard to give a shit about, hell it takes a couple of episodes to even figure out who is who and how they’re all related. Overall, a muddled confusing mess that ends with zero resolution- but to be honest it's seriously worth checking out the Safari bits.
Mayor of Kingstown (F) I haven’t finished watching this yet (not sure I will) but, Sheridan never really had his fastball when it came to this show and making a second season of it is a lot like trying to deep fry a turkey for thanksgiving, burning down your house, and then doing it again next year.
Tulsa King (C) Err, not that bad, which is frankly shocking. The guys over at the consultant could learn a few things about comedy from this show. I’m not entirely sure most of the cast is trying to be funny in the parts of the show that are funny but that doesn’t really matter. It suffers a bit from being based in- I don’t know- Made-up-land as far as the actual story of the show goes but it’s actually fine.
Your Honor S2 (B) I didn’t like the first season as much as everyone else did, but this season feels like the opposite. Some great acting, especially from Cranston. There’s a lot of plots that carry weight to them and invest time in building characters. Both season are worth checking out, Season One is pretty good- I just like this one better.
CBS(on Paramount+)
NCIS Hawaii (B-) Solid turn your brain off network television. Not in love with some of the extended plot ideas of the current season but still pretty good.
Fire Country (F-) Some of the worst television I’ve seen recently. Very dumb for starters, but also very dumb. Good talk.
So Help Me Todd (C) For now, the show kind of has legs. There’s some pretty decent plot points and good characters. Interested to see what season 2 will bring, personally there’s a few too many moving parts with all the characters they have right now, some things need to be tied up or changed. Overall watchable, not bingeable.
East New York (IC) I watched the first few episodes of this but haven’t gone back to the slop bucket for the rest yet. It’s fine generic TV from what I can tell, could become good, could become really bad.
Criminals Minds Reboot (F) Holy shit did this suck. The whole Assistant Director of the FBI plotline made the show nearly unwatchable only to be topped off by some of the absolute dumbest leaps with the web of serial killers plotline. They’ve managed to take a formulaic basic cable tv series and tried to prestige it up only to leave in all the shitty formulaic stuff and leave out anything that would remotely make this prestige tv. Just absolutely awful.
Speaking of awful things, Netflix (soon to be the AOL of streaming)
Vikings Valhalla (C-) It would seem to me that the writers of this show don’t know what people liked about it’s first season or the entirety of the Vikings series. It’s the huge, bloody, action packed battles. They were good enough to stick around 7(?) seasons of the original. With the second season of this, they’ve boldly decided to say fuck that and let’s focus on mostly travelling to one place or the other, awesome.
Treason (F) The Daredevil is in this show, along with Ciaran Hinds, so I gave it a watch. The first uh, 40 minutes or so, are pretty good. After that point the show dives headfirst into shitty conspiracy spy hoopla land and never returns.
That 90’s Show (F) Watched two episodes, not for me. Not sure who it’s for really. Coma patients?
Wild Croc Territory (C+) Just a crazy Aussie wrastlin’ 20 foot crocodiles.
Drive To Survive S5 (C) Feels like the show has kind of lost it’s way a bit. There’s not really a lot of exploration of the sport going on now, which is what made the show such a hit before. Not sure if they’re trying make the show more like a race or what but it basically falls flat at most turns this year.
The Recruit (B-)
Pretty good. The show has a great tone to it along with an interesting plot and some decent acting.
The Night Agent (not to be confused with the Recruit) (C+)
Not as good as the Recruit, mostly due to it’s much more (we’ll politely call it) elaborate plot, but still a decent watch.
MGM+ (formerly Epix)
Rouge Heroes (A+) This is the best show on this list. It is so, so awesome. The three main actors deliver some of the best performances on television. It’s worth paying whatever MGM+ costs to watch this. The plot of the show is the foundation of the SAS, which is somewhere between the CIA and Seals in America. As it turns out the SAS was founded by three just totally degenerate bastards that only wanted to drink and kill Nazi’s. Please watch this show.
ABC
Will Trent (B+) A really solid formulaic standard network television show. Great characters with good character building, interesting plot points, it has it all. Really good, so good in fact I’m living like it’s 1999 and watching it weekly.
Peacock/NBC
American Auto (B+) Not sure why NBC only chose to do 10-13 episodes of the second season of this show. It’s very good, very funny. The premise is basically the Office but at Ford, and it holds up. There’s lots of hilarious things that happen and show make Tyler laugh. (Sorry, re-read that in editing and couldn’t help but think about how shitty the entire paragraph was so decided to just turn it up to 100)
Manchester United (A+) Lots of high drama in this program. They’ve introduced a few new characters while killing off the dead weight along with bringing back some familiar faces. Interested to see where the scriptwriters are going to take it from here.
Traitors (F) Not my cup of tea.
Some Australian show about a reverend, maybe Irreverent or something Idk (F) Funny premise but very poorly executed in the grand scheme of things.
Sighs shamefully… Discovery+
Street Outlaws No Prep Kings (C+) Every part of this show is dumb, over dramatize, and silly. I watched 5 seasons. No further questions at this time.
Street Outlaws (F)
Street Outlaws America’s List (C-)
Street Outlaws Endgame (C-)
I’ve watched a lot of street outlaws. I know I have a problem and I’m attending daily Street Outlaws Anonymous meetings trying to get help, but I can’t promise you that I won’t relapse into more of it.
Alright time for the big guns
Random British crime dramas available on Acorn TV or Britbox
Loch Ness (B) Very good show. Well-acted, good plot, great twist. Very much worth watching.
Chelsea Detective (B-) Another pretty well done show. It’s pieces are probably better than Loch Ness honestly, just when put together as a whole it doesn’t quiet blend as well.
London Kills (C+) Has real Line of Duty season 4 or 5 vibes. Kind of out of shit to write about but still need to make a tv show, type of deal. There’s some good episodes and some stinkers, overall not terrible, worth a watch if this your type of genre.
Bloodlands (A-) Man, this show is awesome. Great acting, nice little fully developed plot. It’s set in North Ireland, so there’s some good IRA stuff in there. A show out for my heart for sure.
Mystery Road (A-) Another very, very good show. The first two seasons take place in present day rural Australia, while the third one is a prequel (and shockingly, might be the best). Each season of this show is very good and worth watching.
Dalgleish (B) This show follows a detective in 70’s Britain. Rock solid show, good mysteries and grounded in reality.
Rake (A+) In another way better life I could have turned out something like Rake (although that’s no his name and isn’t ever said in the show). This show follows an Australian Barrister (lawyer), who is a drunken degenerate with a gambling problem. At every point you think the show couldn’t possible take this incredibly funny situation and make it better at almost every point they do. It is awesome.
Dublin Murders (A-) Follows detectives trying to solve a true detective type murder while not bringing to light their own dark secrets. Very good, lot of weight to the show which keeps it tense and keeps the viewer interested. Also, they never really try to hide the big obvious secrets of the show which is refreshing.
That’s the end of the list.
Here’s a little addendum though, if you’re bored and out shit to watch on traditional streaming platforms (hulu, Netflix, etc.) check out the channels tab on Amazon Prime- most of the time you can get a free month or some other sort of deeply discounted deal on some pretty good stuff. I love the British channels, obviously, they are very affordable and have a ton of content. Starz and MGM+ are decent if you can get them for free, you’ll likely run through the content on there by then anyway. Another sleeper is AMC+.